It’s ironic that my Weight Watchers leader picked last night to talk about those two little words – “I Can’t”. She talked about participating in the Ride for Missing Children – a 102 mile bike ride that took place last Friday. It was something she had always wanted to do but thought she couldn’t. She signed up several times and backed out. She finally committed to it, and she hit the wall at mile 65 and wanted to quit. She was in tears and almost got onto the “bus of shame” for a ride back to the start, but she kept going. Her story was funny and inspirational.
I’ve been struggling with “I Can’t” myself the past few weeks.
I’ve done Weight Watchers before. As you lose weight, your daily points allowance goes down. You never go lower than 26 points per day, but there’s a big difference between 34 points (where I started) and 26. My daily total is 32 points per day now, and this is the part of the program where I panic and screw up. I start out great and lose some weight, and then I find it too difficult to continue and I quit or I sabotage myself by eating too much. This is where “I can’t” and self-doubt kick in. I have stayed the same weight for three weeks straight. On one hand, I am happy that I have not gained, but on the other hand, it’s hard to weigh in and find out you haven’t budged an ounce. On the positive side, I guess I’ve figured out how to maintain. They tell me I need to change something to break the plateau.
I also am at a difficult stage in my college degree program. I am close to the end, and the courses are more difficult. I am taking my last content course – Interactive Design II. We are building a mobile website (one that will run and display properly on a mobile phone). This course is hard, very hard. It involves a lot of coding, and I am not as strong as I could be at coding. My classmates seem to breeze right along and they sound so knowledgeable in our discussions. I read the material in the lesson or the textbook, and I keep thinking, “I can’t do this”. Those two words again. My teacher keeps telling me, “no worries”. I hope she’s right.
So because I am not a quitter, I will continue to struggle along.
I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.
I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa