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Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why? Photographers, artists, poets: show us SELF.

It is very hard for me to ask for help. There are a number of reasons why I rely only on myself.

I have often been told I am “strong”, and I am independent. Part of it is the way I was raised. Part of it is just the way that I am. When you are an introvert and shy by nature, you spend a lot of time in your own head. You learn to rely on yourself and your own company.

I am a perfectionist. I tend to feel that no one can do it as well as I can. I frustrate others often when I re-do what they have tried to do for me. I have a hard time letting go and letting others do things their way.

Nothing frustrates me more than when I do ask for help, and someone grumbles or gives me grief in the process. The grumbling usually reinforces my belief that I shouldn’t have asked in the first place. I am often told that I want everything done on my schedule. That’s true.

Another reason why it’s hard to ask for help is because I am the caregiver. I take care of everyone else. I may complain that no one takes care of me, but I don’t make it easy for them to do so. I usually take care of others so it’s not easy to reverse the pattern.

At work, I don’t often ask for help because I like to figure things out for myself. I have found that I learn better through the trial and error process. If I take the time to logic it through myself, I learn more than if someone were to show me how. I will usually blunder along until I either get it or get into trouble.

I am also stubborn and determined. If I figure things out myself, I get more satisfaction than if someone helped me. If I can understand the how or the why behind it all, I can figure it out myself the next time around. This has stood me in good stead in the web design process. Figuring out coding is hard work, but it’s very rewarding when it all works.

For someone with low self-esteem, I am pretty independent and have a strong sense of self. Some would say obstinate. According to the Bing Dictionary:

ob·sti·nate – stubborn: determined not to agree with other people’s wishes or accept their suggestions

Yep, that’s me – stubborn, independent and obstinate – like a rock.