Be prepared for indecision
It might make me disappear
But then again, my addiction
To indecision keeps me here
I’ve been wrestling with indecision lately.
I went back to Weight Watchers last night. It’s been three weeks since I’ve been there, and I had more of less quit the program. I stopped going because there was a change in leaders, and I didn’t care for the new leader. Actually I think I used that as an excuse to backslide. I stopped tracking, and I only exercised sporadically. I made the first step by returning last evening. Now I have to get myself in gear and go back to eating well and exercising daily. I wish I knew why it is so hard to stick with it.
My other piece of indecision is whether or not to further my schooling. I go back and forth about whether or not I want to continue on with a Bachelor’s degree. I’m a good student, and I’ve enjoyed the last three years of pushing myself harder than I’ve had to in quite a while. I’ve prayed about it, but I still don’t seem to have reached a clear decision. I’ve tried listing the pros and the cons.
The pros are more education and the possibility of a better job. The cons are less free time, more debt, and another 2-3 year commitment to a lot of hard work. I might very well come out on the other side of this with just more debt. In 2-3 years I will be 57. Realistically, who will hire me at that point?
I know a smattering about web design now. Bryant & Stratton is great, but the classes are short and they are fast-paced. I feel like I only got an overview, and I still only know a little bit (enough to get myself into trouble).
It’s likely no one even noticed, but I had my website down on Sunday. I had switched it from being hosted on WordPress to being hosted on GoDaddy (where my domain name resides). That switch would have meant exporting all the data on wordpress.com into wordpress.org. I would have been able to revamp and redesign to my heart’s content. I could have done it, but it would be a lot of hard work. I wasn’t even sure how the interface would work. I didn’t want to lose the whole wordpress community. When I looked at the monumental task in front of me and I considered all the things that could go wrong, I chickened out. I put the site back onto wordpress.com. I spent about an hour waiting for the posts to repopulate the blank webpage, worrying and fretting that I’d broken my blog.
I don’t know if further schooling would help me to be more comfortable with web design or if it would be a waste of time and money. I wish I could decide.
Come see the view from the top of the fence
We’ll watch the world unfold its events
Some days when I am nearly awake
I can almost hear the decisions I make