In Sickness and Guilt


I’m not a good sick person. I don’t know how to let myself be sick. I keep seeing the laundry that needs doing or the sink of dishes that needs washing. I keep thinking of all the things we need at the store. I take a nap, and I wake up and feel guilty that I was wasting time not doing anything.

I’m not sure how I became someone who doesn’t know how to relax. Growing up, I was spoiled and didn’t have any chores. I never did much around the house because my Mom did it all. You would also think that my lack of relaxation would also mean my house is neat and spotless, but it’s not.

My house has that messy lived-in look – kind-of like the house I grew up in. Our house was not the neatest or the cleanest, but it was full of love. My Mom did that. That was the extra touch she added. I like to think that my three men think the same of me and our house. We’re not wealthy, we don’t have new things, and our house is usually cluttered. I try to hold the chaos together with love.

And now that I’m sick with the flu, I have to sit back and let the chaos get more chaotic for a little while. I kind-of have to because I feel so rough around the edges. Feeling terrible puts a damper on the guilt. Maybe that’s a good thing after all.

14 thoughts on “In Sickness and Guilt

  1. Ohhh…sending you my prayers!!! No guilt…that hinders the healing process. Ok…I totally made that up, but you should not feel guilty!

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  2. I hope you feel better real quick and be careful when you do feel better as you will be weak and overdoing will bring it back a bit.
    I am like you and can not stand to sit and watch someone else do my job. Our apt is small and filled to the brin with hubbys needs and stuff I didm”t want to get rid of when we moved here, so one thing out of place and it all looks out of place.
    Sending prayers for quick healing your way.

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  3. I hope you feel better soon! The flu is the worst. I’m a lot like you- I have a hard time just laying there. I can’t even just sit and watch tv all day. I have to move around or at least do something that engages my mind. My house is always a mess, but I still try to clean it. My husband will walk me right back to bed when he catches me trying to do the dishes or laundry while I’m sick. I always run those really high fevers too (around 104 F). Ugh. Try to get some rest! ๐Ÿ™‚

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