My hubby took a photograph of my Mom’s house today. She’s been gone 10 years this year. I lived in that house for the first 30 years of my life. I sit here, sobbing as I write this. I miss her. She made that messy little house a home. It no longer has her heart so all it says to me now is house. Someone else’s house.
This is how it looks today: 
This is how I remember it, including the explosion of flowers in the side yard: 
Where have the years gone, my sweet Mom?
Just saw a picture of our place
Different appearance wrecked my calm
Did not recognize its false face
Not my home for twenty-six years
Broke my heart to see trees chopped down
No longer MY house it appears
Flowers gone too, just the bare ground
Made me so sad to see the change
Wish I could have it like it was
Why would someone make it so strange
It looks so barren, yes it does
Our home lives on in my mind’s eye
That’s the only place it exists
Look at the change and wonder why
Feeling of loss it still persists
Like lifeboats in time, memories remain.
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That’s lovely, Pam. I haven’t cried this hard over her in years so I guess I was “due”. It hurt seeing that house.
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I remember how much changed at my childhood home after my parents were gone. The most visible was a road divided the property and another home was built. The hill I’d climbed had been leveled for the foundation. I think I was in shock–and haven’t returned.
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Patti, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know everything changes, but it still hurts to see the changes. When my Mom’s house sold, I was told it was time for a new family to make memories there. I managed to avoid driving by there for years. My hubby thought I’d be pleased to see that the new owners have put a lot into it. It still hurts.
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I understand where you’re coming from. It was part of who we are. It’s nice others will enjoy it. We heard that the children who lived in our present house drove by after a few years and a lot of changes–and complained how we’d ruined it! LOL It’s a rite of passage, I suppose?
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We can’t time travel and bring people back, much as we’d like to. I hope your mom was really close to the scrim between the two of you, whispering her memories in your ear. I really believe when we miss departed loved ones most, that’s what’s happening.
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Aw, thanks, Andra. She must’ve been beside me all day then.
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Wonderful and sometimes sad feelings expressed so beautifully that tears rolled down my cheeks God knows what sensitive memory they touched deep in me…Perfect poetry Donna, I’ve enjoyed every single word. Thank you sharing them with us 🙂
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Thank you, Beth. Yesterday was hard. Seeing that house bothered me a lot. It’s pretty, but it looks impersonal and bare.
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Lovely!
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Thanks, Jean.
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Well said, and so poignant. I feel the same way when I drive by the farm where I grew up. The people who lived there after us didn’t take care of the place and the barns have fallen into ruin. They changed the house and neglected the grounds. It’s so sad.
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I know everything changes, and my old house was actually gutted and updated and improved, but what made it “ours” is gone. Heartbreaking.
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