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Yes, the eyes have it. I saw the eye doctor today for a regular checkup. I haven’t been in two years. I haven’t had a lot of issues with my eyes other than a bit of dryness and lots of overuse. Doesn’t everyone sit at the computer most of the day these days? Doesn’t everyone look at a screen of some sort or another most of the day? Between the computer, smartphone, Kindle and television mine get an electronic workout.

The doctor did tell me that most people overuse their eyes. Unfortunately, it was one old age comment after another today. I finally commented, “Getting old sucks”. He agreed with me. Sigh. How the hell did I get this old?

fullsizerender-2Feast your eyes on these peepers. Yep, that’s my eyes in all their unadorned glory, without makeup and without glasses. Not a state you’ll see me in very often. The pupils are dilated for the various tests the doctor puts me through. These days I also get the extra special photographic session of the inside of my eye. Yes, three camera flashes to each eye to get an image of my retina and the drusen I have growing there.

My doctor told me about the drusen two years ago when he took the first photos. They are yellow deposits under the retina made up of lipids, a fatty protein. He told me he would just keep an eye on them. They are part of aging and could lead to macular degeneration if they change or grow. Good news this visit is that they look the same as they did last time around.

I also found out this year that I have pinguecula on the white part of my eye. A few months ago I found this obnoxious little bump on the white part of my left eye on the side nearest my nose. When my eyes are feeling the driest, it’s worse. I can feel it against my eyelid – it feels like something in my eye. He told me these little gems are also part of aging, and to not be shy about using the artificial tears.

So good news is my eyes are healthy. They’re just aging like the rest of me. I spent most of this weekend suffering from what I thought was the flu. I had aches and pains and a low-grade fever. I was a bit better yesterday but sneezing like I had a cold. Today I’m better still, but now feeling a bit down about the aging thing. Most days I don’t feel my age. Today I do.

Maybe it was the doctor’s comment about “fewer tomorrows than yesterdays” that got to me. Hell, I was telling everyone I was old when I was in my 30’s. I have video proof of my oldest son as a toddler telling the daycare provider, “my Mommy’s old” like it was some big secret. He’d been hearing me say it often enough day in/day out. So now that I just turned 58? I don’t want to be old!

img_3096Yes, that’s me wearing my hair longer and wild kind-of like I did in my 20’s. I wear skin tight leggings and heavy metal band concert t-shirts. I listen to loud metal music. I have four tattoos with more planned. I dance around and sing to my music. Yep, I’m going down kicking and screaming.

Just try and stop me.

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Image courtesy of Pinterest