Category Archives: #truckerswife

Oh, No!

12 Monday Jun 2017

Posted by in #sitsblogging, #truckerswife, Me, Rochester

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I was first called for County court jury duty thirty-two years ago when I was 26. I served as a juror on a criminal trial for a week. It was a kidnapping, assault, attempted rape, attempted murder case. The guy that we convicted was a repeat offender. The judge kept the jury after it was all over to tell us we’d done the right thing. The creep had just gotten out of prison, having served time for doing the exact same crime. 

Seven years later at age 33 I was called for County court again. I made it as far as a courtroom and then we were told the parties had settled so we were thanked for our service and sent home. 

Seven years later at age 40 my old friend County court called me again. This time I phoned in for almost a week, and they didn’t need me to come in. 

I went eighteen years without hearing a peep. I got home tonight and found a jury duty summons waiting for me. Not County court this time. Oh, no, that would be too easy. This time it was US District Court, and it’s not a week worth of commitment. Oh, no, this time my commitment is for ninety days. Ninety. Days. I’m on the hook from July 12th until October 11th. 

If I don’t get on a trial, I remain on call for ninety days. I’m not sure what happens if I do serve on a trial. Am I done, or do I stay on call?  Like any jury duty summons, there’s no way out of it. I’m stuck. 

If only they’d waited another twelve years. If I were 70, I could get excused. If I were caring for babies or the elderly, I could get excused. If I was considered essential to my job, I could get excused. While I’d like to think I’m pretty important, I don’t think the court would agree. 

So I’ll have a new experience whether I want one or not. Maybe I should add blue and purple highlights to the pink in my hair if I have to report. I’d make a statement anyway. 

To All Those Women

20 Saturday May 2017

Posted by in #sitsblogging, #truckerswife, Family, Me, Random Thoughts, Trucker's Wife

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To all those women who have full-time husbands and don’t really appreciate them, you can all go to hell. Yes, I know that’s abrupt and a bit nasty, but I don’t care. This post is aimed at women who don’t know how good they’ve got it. 

I’ve worked with women who whined because their husbands played golf or watched too much football or worked non-stop on the car or on the house. Their husbands were still there beside them every night, but they felt put upon because he had other interests besides them. Stupid ungrateful women.

My hubby was home for just over four hours today. Four HOURS. That was our “weekend”. He came in, we had lunch together, I did his laundry while he showered and took a nap. He watched the Preakness with me, he packed and left again. Yes, this was an unusual circumstance. There was some kind-of scheduling mix-up. This type of non-weekend doesn’t happen often. It still sucks. I’m still on the verge of tears. 
When we first began this trucking lifestyle seven years ago, some well-meaning women friends said how wonderful it would be to have the house/bed to myself and how they envied me. Stupid unthinking women. 

Being married to someone who spends their working life on the road is not easy. Days apart are hard. He’s just a voice on the phone. Some days he’s on the other side of the clock. He’s sleeping while I’m awake. Some days he can’t talk to me when I need him to, and I know there have been times when I’ve been unable to talk when he needs to hear my voice. 

Sometimes things break at home.

Sometimes I can’t sleep. 

Sometimes I cry. 

Sometimes I am not strong.

Sometimes he has a very bad day.

Sometimes he feels lonely.

Sometimes he’s tired and hurting.

Sometimes he needs a hug. 

To all those women who don’t appreciate what you have, you can kiss my behind. Being a trucker’s wife isn’t a situation I’d recommend. Most days I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It’s hard, it’s lonely, and it hurts. 

Being my husband’s wife is all I’ve ever wanted to be. He just happens to be a trucker. 

To all those women who have a 24/7 husband, appreciate what you have, and be grateful. 

Images courtesy of Pinterest

Over Planning

19 Friday May 2017

Posted by in #sitsblogging, #truckerswife, creative writing, Humor, Inspiration, Me, Writing, Writing Prompts

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I have never been able to work with an outline. Hell, I usually don’t even have a solid plot in mind. I have a general, vague idea, and my stories or musings spring from there. I prefer to write as it comes to me, on the fly, off the top of my head, with my hands racing across the keyboard to get it all down before I lose it. I do my best work when I just write and let my fingers take me where they will. I ramble and wander, figuring it out as I go.

Worried how some of my creative efforts have meandered along, I spoke to my hubby, and he suggested that maybe working from an outline would give me direction and make for a tighter story. I freely admit that I don’t like outlines. If I write an outline, I almost never stick to it. I say too much in an outline because putting down cryptic bullet points makes no sense whatsoever to me. Why bother? Outlines always seemed so pointless.

Wanting to be a better writer, I gave hubby’s idea of using an outline a shot. I forced myself to sit down and made an outline. I researched ideas, and I wrote a framework for a novel. Using Scrivener, my favorite writing software, I researched characters, drafting up complete bios for them, complete with pictures of people found online who fit the idea of the people I had in my head. I researched and set up plots for scenes, and I created detailed places for the scenes to happen.

I wrote a prologue with an exciting opening scene. After the action of the prologue, I decided I’d go back in time two weeks and write about how the characters got where they were when the prologue scene happened. And, that was as far as I got. I waited for inspiration to hit, and I got nothing. My mind was a big, fat blank.

My problem with planning and plotting it all out is that now that I’ve done that, the story is already written in my head. It has a beginning, middle and an end, and the pure joy of writing it and creating it moment by moment is gone. I already know where the story will go and how it will end so I no longer feel the need to write it. It’s like I’ve opened the book and already read the ending. I’ve spoiled it for myself.

This stalled effort taught me an important lesson. Outlines don’t work for me. Too much planning puts a real damper on the joy of writing for me. I need the surprise of not knowing exactly where I’m going.

Images courtesy of Pinterest

WordPress Anniversary

07 Sunday May 2017

Posted by in #sitsblogging, #truckerswife, Blogging, creative writing, Family, Inspiration, Me, Technology, Trucker's Wife, Writing

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Blogging life for me began in June 2012 (almost five years ago). WordPress informed me on Friday that I registered with them four years ago. I was two-thirds of the way through my first college degree. I’d had some success with college level writing, and I was nearly finished with a web design degree. At the time I not only felt like I had something to say (after more than fifty years of living), but I also felt creative and clever. I was struggling to adjust to life with my husband out on the road for five to six days of each week. My hubby and a dear friend both suggested I blog.

My hubby had been using Blogger for his blog so I started out on that platform.  Blogger felt way too isolated for me. Blogger may have changed since then, but at the time there was no sense of community. There was no “Reader” like there is in WordPress where you could see other people’s posts. Maybe I was just too new at blogging in general, but I posted and never got any feedback from others. There were no blogs that I followed or people that followed me. I didn’t get any emails to alert me that others had posted. I was posting into a total void or vacuum. It was a miracle that I stuck with it, but I found freedom in being able to express my thoughts and ideas and put them out there for others to see. Of course I know now that had I linked my blog to Twitter or Facebook, I probably would’ve had more feedback. I was so new at it, I was clueless.

Since I felt like I was wasting my time on Blogger as I neared the end of my first year blogging I began to look for other platforms. I don’t remember now exactly how I found WordPress, but I did, and I’m glad. The switch to WordPress was the right thing to do. Had I stuck with Blogger, I would’ve quit. With WordPress, even on the days when I don’t feel like posting or have nothing new to say, there are friends I follow who always have something to say, and I can comment on their posts instead.

Thank you, WordPress. Thank you for forcing this shy woman to come out of her shell just a bit further. Thank you for the laughs, and the experiences. I’ve learned a lot, and I’m always amused and touched by the words of others. I’ve found friendships that have enriched my life. I wouldn’t change a thing about any of it. I don’t blog to be wildly successful or to make money. I blog because this is me and this is my voice, and the kindness of others takes away a bit of the loneliness while my trucker hubby is out on the road.

Thank you.