Everything wears out. Cars, appliances, furniture, bodies. I have learned way more about the human body in the past year than I ever thought I wanted to know. Upper endoscopies, CT scans, x-rays, colonoscopies. I became well acquainted with them all. The heating pad on my belly has become my best friend.
Today as I await the approach of another doctor’s visit to address a new concern that cropped up this morning, I wonder why some folks never seem to have health issues. Others have chronic, life-long problems. Still others have items crop up as they age.
I try to look on the bright side and figure that things could be far worse. I can see, I can hear, I can walk, and most days I function as any other, normal, overweight, 59 year old female does. Things hurt, I move a bit slower, but I get through it. Some days it defeats me, and I long for the days when I felt well, or I long for the days when I can retire and I can pretty much relax 24/7. Then again some days having a job and responsibilities to go off to keeps me sane and keeps me going.
When I was in my 30’s and dealing with children with developmental disabilities, autism, ADHD, diabetes, celiac disease and the special education administrators and so-called regular teachers in the school districts, I used to say that work was my escape. I went there to get away from the hard things I faced at home. Having to deal with all of those people and all of those issues hardened me and made me grow up in so many different ways.
When I was in my 40’s and dealing with death (father-in-law, grandmother, mother and my beloved pets one right after the other) and dealing with the beginnings of the health issues (endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and hysterectomy), I was thrown for a loop. That decade brought me to my knees, and depression threatened. I withdrew from life in many ways.
My 50’s have been a reawakening for me. I grew further and tossed off the sadness, I got two college degrees, I got five tattoos, and I rediscovered the guitar, but then I also found new health challenges.
I’m not sure why we age the way we do. Folks who eat right and stay fit don’t always reap the benefits of their hard work so please don’t tell me I should’ve taken better care of myself. I did the best I could.
Everything wears out. It’s why folks have surgeries to replace or repair things. It’s why we buy new cars, new appliances and new furniture.
So I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other. It’s all I can do, and I’ll hope for the best.
Image courtesy of Pinterest